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Sep. 18th, 2011


Planned co-parenting?

Hi, Nice to see so many determined people who took matters into their own hands. Congratulations. If I were a woman, I would do the same. But the fact that I am a 45 year old man makes me throw out this idea to all the single choice mothers out there.

I want to know what you think about, for lack of better term, planned co-parenting. As a 45 year old man, the dating pool for women of child bearing age is getting smaller. If I spend a year on a relationship that doesn't work out, then I may become too old to date a 32 year old, for example. Also, I don't want to donate sperm, becuase I don't want to be anonymous. I would like to have some parental role, particularly when the child is older and possibly to have an heir to my (hopefully family) business. I know as a man, I can wait. But I don't want to be 70 by the time my children ask me for fatherly advice.

So what would you choice moms think about this idea: I would pay for child support in return for a non-custody role of father - similar to what would happen if we were a divorcing couple where the judge awards you custody.

What would you think?

Testing An Idea 

Oct. 7th, 2009

KH- Fireflys


Choice Moms

Has anyone ever been to one of the Choice Mom's Events?

I registered this week for the event in Atlanta Georgia on October 17th.  I'm very new to all of this and really just a "thinker" at this point.  It's an option I want to explore and I thought this would be a great way to continue to get more information about becoming a Single Mother by Choice. 

I was just looking for some feedback about these events and what to expect.  I'm kind of concerned that I'll be out of place since I'm only 26.


Aug. 27th, 2009


Should I become a single parent?

Hi. Recently I have decided that I would like to become a mother, and I feel that time is running out and know I need to make a choice. I'm 30, which might be okay, but unfortunately a genetic problem runs in my family, and I'd have a greater chance of conceiving a child with this problem after 35. It makes me sad to admit all this, but also empowered, too; I've never had very much luck in relationships and doubt that things will turn around in my thirties. The dating pool gets that much smaller, etc. And I'm sort of tired of waiting for my dream of a family to unfold on a man's terms.

If I do decide to get pregnant, I would like to do so by 32 or 33. One of my main problems, however, is that I just left my job to begin doctoral work. (When I applied and got in I actually had a boyfriend and thought that we might be getting married.) If you know anything about grad school, you know that it doesn't pay that well. I'll now be living on a small stipend and don't know if it's responsible to willingly bring a child into a crappy financial situation. Then again, I know that there are a lot of people out there who make things work on a lot less money, and my university offers child care and health insurance and all that.

Then there's my family. They're super Catholic and have major ideological problems with artificial insemination. My mother thinks I'm young enough that I might someday find "the one," but I am more realistic. In any case, I don't think they'd be very supportive.

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone out there had some insights, or if anyone has been in a similiar situation in terms of school and family.

Feb. 4th, 2009



Single Parenting

For as long as I can remember, I knew I wanted a child. The problem is, I never had the required partner who I could settle down with and fulfill this dream. Actually, all my dreams of kids have always been about the child...never a partner. So, I keep the single parenting option in the back of my mind as a possible, if I can't settle down by the age of 35. In considering this decision, I was wondering if other community members would be so kind as to answer a few questions I was pondering.

1. What motivated you to become a single parent by choice?

2. What was the reaction of your family and friends to this decision?

3. What avenues did you take in order to become pregnant? (And what are the best legal avenues to undertake when conceiving?)

4. Have there been any unexpected stressors or impediments along the way that you did not foresee when undertaking this journey?

5. What have been the reaction from others, after your child was born, to the choice of becoming a single parent?

Dec. 28th, 2008



Hi all,
I was doing a search for this very thing, so am really glad I found this community, and I really hope it's still active, even though it hasn't been posted to in a while.
I'm 29 years young from Melbourne australia. -- I've only been in one very short relationship. I feel that time is ticking on for me!
I've always really wanted kids ever since i was little.
For a while now, i've said to myself that if I don't find anyone to settle down with by the time I'm 34 or 35, I'm going to have to resort to the single-parent thing. It's not an ideal way I want things to happen, but I know that I will feel inconplete if I don't have children.
I haven't read any of this community yet, but I will start as soon as I've posted this.
I'm looking forward to hopefully reading any experiences anyone has had with this.
Any links to information about this kind of stuff, including sperm donation etc would be more than welcome!
Cheers! :)

Nov. 1st, 2008

John Simm, Life on Mars


Putting off parenthood

A few years ago, I really had my heart set on becoming a parent, and soon- I had finances planned out, and was in the process of getting the rest of my life ready.

I've since found other (career) goals that would prevent me from being able to become a parent for a while, and especially a single parent due to the amount of time and effort involved. Still, I want to have children, and if the only way I can do that is by being a single parent, that's what I'll do.

Who here has very long term plans that might lead to planned single parenting? I know my earliest date to be able to try to conceive are now probably sitting in 2016.

Do you specifically want to be a single parent rather than a parent as part of a couple? Is single parenting just the backup plan for you? Either way, how do you cope with a long wait before you can TTC?

Aug. 17th, 2008


Brand New To This

A couple months ago my fiance passed away.  We really wanted to have children, but after a few months of trying to conceive, he got sick.  Our dream is not gone however.  What would my first step be in this process?  What would be the most practical option?  Thank you in advance for putting me in the right direction.

Dec. 3rd, 2007

Live til I die


Sperm Donor to Lesbian Couple Forced to Pay Child Support

The Guardian | Sperm donor to lesbian couple forced to pay child support

I thought that was interesting Read more...Collapse )

Aug. 12th, 2007

He Lives!, Baby, Morticia


Adoption for Single Dads

I haven't been here in ages... but anyway, thought this article might interest you. It comes from Yahoo UK & is about how single men who want children are increasingly choosing adoption. (Also under the cut):


Read more...Collapse )

Jul. 5th, 2007

September 2013



Is this community still alive? (Will it be if I start posting?)

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